The day of reckoning is almost upon us, the National Day of Prayer and Worship. Open to “all Christians, churches, youth, prayer leaders and intercessors” it is a prayer group of the most diverse kind, being gathered in Wembley Stadium, London on Saturday 29th September.

The aim is to unite the nation in Christianity of all forms, to revive the worship of God and kick-start the revolution. This ultimate system reboot comes at a time when church membership is dwindling, the country is in a deep recession and the Middle East is imploding due to a violent reaction to a crappy film made in the US. So as many angry Muslims proclaim ‘Death to America’, what better way to inform the population that not all believers are mental – by gathering and all talking to their own interpretations of the savior, in their heads.

After the Olympics – a far better representation of successes and diversity – we are being treated to a mass gathering of religious types who for one day and one day only will put aside their own interpretations of scripture to simply worship. That is, until someone chants “We love the Holy Trinity” and a mass riot breaks out.

In true religious fashion – think more Joseph Smith than Jesus Christ – the day is the brainchild of Jonathan Oloyede who (hands up who guessed it first) came to the idea through a vision.

Several years ago, Jonathan Oloyede, a convert from Islam, had several vivid visions of renewal, revival and transformation coming to the UK. These included graphic pictures of Wembley Stadium filled to capacity with worshiping and praying Christians. The inspiration which sparked him into action was a vision of people all over the four Nations praying the Lord’s Prayer at the same time

This week the Christian Post reported that believers “gathered in central London to pray for God to unite the church and change the spiritual climate of secular Britain”. Our visionary friend Mr Oloyede told crowds to pray that the seats of Wembley Stadium were all filled. It is never mentioned that the secular society that they are rallying against is the same society that allows such events to take place. Much to Christian dismay, a secular society is not one that disqualifies Christian worship – it only puts it on an equal peg to all other religions. But this will not suffice, as we are a Christian nation, goddamnit. (caps lock optional)

On the ‘Pray for Wembley’ section of the website it is stated “Just think of the impact on our nation if one million Christians were praying the Lords prayer at 12 Noon Everyday”. Before you jump to the conclusion that such worship power will undoubtably propel the stadium itself to float up into the clouds in a glorious haze of yellow light and rapturous applause, remember that prayer itself doesn’t actually do anything.

Be safe in the knowledge that be it could be ten billion Christians praying at the same time and the result would be the same; no change to reality and a minor noise disturbance to the surrounding area.

(Note: This is an opinion piece and is in no way intended to make fun of inter-dimensional communication)

Words: Jason Murdock

jason.a.murdock@gmail.com

@jason_a_murdock